Is everything possible?

The rains came down hard yesterday, perfect for a Sunday. As the skies clear today leaving clouds hanging in the valleys, waiting for the sun to pierce through, the stillness that fills the air is spiralled by the house martin's and swallows. I see blackbirds nibbling naughtily at the cherry blossom buds, flying back to their nests, which reside in the broken down old houses around us, through the rotten wooden windows left open by the mountain winds. 

It may be a broken down 200 year old house, but its a home for the wild.
I look out my window facing south, and see the mountains once burnt to a crips from the two year ago fires, to see the colours of the mustard yellow Carqueja bushes the warm pinks and purples of the heather and dotted in the green fields are the white pink blossoms of the cherry.
Every now and then the wind blushes and whips the blossoms off the trees which float in the wind.

Sunday was spent mesmerising at the nature out of our windows.

My daughter and i, who spend a lot of time in our kitchen, closed the kitchen curtain yesterday to trap all the heat from the fire oven in, and switched on a documentary currently showing on youtube from long ago, about searching for faeries.
It showed landscapes of the old England and Ireland i once knew, and told of ancient times when people believed in faeries. 

 It was so beautiful that it made me desperately want to paint, the music was a sweet and twinkling dance like moment, and the sounds of old filled our kitchen. I looked over to my girl and she was drawing faery homes in trees.

Now, watching this made me think romantically of England, but also gave me a deep feeling of the olden times.
We live here in this forgotten place, up on a mountain surrounded by wild, nature, beauty and peace, and sometimes it feels as if we have gone back in time to those old stories you hear about in such, "searching for Faeries" documentaries, and it gives me a warm feeling, that we are in our place.

  Living this way has made me realise that the things you want in life, don't always come around when you want them to, and when they don't you must feel that it stops you from doing the things you want.
Ive desperately been wanting to paint more, and am only limited to water colour on paper and acrylic, but i want more. 

This is nice, but i want to get started with oil painting.
It will cost a lot of money to get me the tools i need to paint with oils, i need the medium, i need the canvas, i need the time, but i already have the oils paints.
I've tried to find ways around this problem, like the idea to use any fabric i can find and prime it with whatever paint i have to hand, I've tried using veg oil as a medium for my paints, but it doesn't seem to fit. 

This is my material problem in my physical world. 

It brings me to think of the great artists of the past, when they didn't have shops to go to and buy such luxurious items, what did they use, and how did they over come this problem?

So i delve into my mind to search the knowledge i have with trees and resin and figure out how to make my own, using the nature i have around me.

  My son is a very wise young man, and came to me talking of life and its many illusions, asking me questions on god, and the universe, and telling me how he feels with parallel universes, and the ability to change all in your material world by understanding everything is nothing, and nothing is everything, and then blows his own mind away by finally finding words to explain this to me. 

I reply to him that everything is possible, if you find it within yourself, listening to you heart and seeing things that aren't really there for what it means to feel. 

Through looking inside you, you will find ways to create the things outside of yourself. 

Then it occurred to me, my son is my biggest teacher. He is my inner feeling that lives outside of me, that teaches me the things i already know. 

If all of life is an illusion then he is my deepest heart space by showing me this lesson,  and that i need to listen to him. With that in mind, I'm finding ways to look inside myself for the things in life i want... and put them outside of myself to prepare the canvas at which i need to paint, create.

  This might have not made any sense, yet it might have sparked some sort of realisation in you as it just did to me, which is why i needed to share it. There are no answers, right or wrong.

  This time of self isolation is really great if you know how to use the tool that it presents.
Going inside, listening to your deeper power, bringing yourself back into this world and re-create.

  Nature helps me wake my inner soul, so does painting, and writing.
So i urge you to create something that makes you wake to the moment you are in, write, paint, walk, smell flowers, sit and listen to the quiet... Anything you feel...

   Thank you for listening...  Blessings and one love